To My Daughters

Be nice, they used to say. Be nice because no one likes girls who are not nice. Smile, and nod and be agreeable and ladylike. Don’t be too independent or too strong. Remember your limitations and those of your gender. Above all, be nice.

Don’t get angry, don’t make noise, that’s not what nice girls do, they’d say. Be gentle, and quiet, and subservient, and accept everything the world throws your way because you are a girl and girls are supposed to be nice.

But I say, to hell with being nice. Be yourselves, my darlings. Be your fierce, unapologetic selves. Kind and brave and oh so strong! Stand up, raise your voice, take over the world. Play with your racecars, learn to sew and bake; run around and learn and help and grow.

Don’t be nice, my loves.

Be the stalwart supporters of the downtrodden, the allies of the oppressed. Be amazing friends and sisters and wonderful mothers; awe inspiring writers and extraordinary artists. Be kind and helpful and everything you want to be!

Don’t worry about being ‘nice’.